Fear is Heroin

Fear.

As a guy, I feel like there’s no room for it or at least to show it.

Conquer.

Yell in it’s face.

Beat your chest.

Step into the fire.

Blaze new trails.

Those are your options if you want to be what a man should be. Straight out of the movie 300, you should only laugh in the face of death.

Be a warrior that lives for blood and glory.

— — — — — — — — —

Leaving a successful business, moving a family and starting fresh in a new city, during a pandemic. Let’s just say I chose the most unsafe, in every way, time to make huge life shifts. When I talk to people it’s all excitement, vision and hope. It’s all victory and confidence. Because I do believe in those . . .

But fear is my true friend if I’m going to be honest. It’s saddled up tight each morning and night. The imp snickers and whispers, “Remember what it felt like to be financially secure? That’s gone. That money it took you so long to save . . . it’s going to disappear quickly. Faster than you anticipated. People will talk about you behind your back- the once successful businessman who now has nothing. And your wife is going to grow tired of your risk taking no matter the reason. She’ll grow unhappy and your marriage is going to suffer because of it. Respect? A place at the table? Those are probably gone too. You’re only worth what you make no matter what people say. They only care to listen if you’ve got a line out of the door at your shop. Watch what happens if you aren’t a success. You’ll be anonymous and middle aged. You know what that feels like? You hear me?!?!? That’s your future and YOU chose it.”

But I don’t tell anyone most of the time. I just listen everyday to that damn voice and push past it.

— — — — — — — — —

That’s the reality of stepping out into the unknown. Those that don’t fear are lying, out of touch with themselves or narcissistic in my humble opinion. The older I get, the more I realize that the myths you were told or carry by osmosis were largely false. They were caricatures of what a man is. And that caricature was of a man eaten alive, that is so stuffed inside that he develops high blood pressure and heart disease. He drinks heavily and never learns to truly communicate. He mocks. But the fear has actually owned him, stolen his spirit and will to go out into the unknown, to truly live. I’m not saying the safe life is bad but, even in a life surrounded by the walls of corporate structure, fear resides in one way or another. We are all fearful of something but it rarely sneaks through our lips to others ears.

— — — — — — — — — —

Recognize your fear. It may be your daily friend like it is mine in this season.

Courage is standing up, face to face, recognizing how it’s affecting you but moving forward in despite of it.

Fear doesn’t win if your steps remain true.

Your sleep may falter. Your appetite may diminish.

You may question your decisions but that’s when you keep your eyes on what the map says is true north.

Identify irrational emotion and focus on what you know instead.

Lean into your trusted friends and ask for their help or just an ear to help you process.

Check your ego and realize that pride is a silent killer.

Man, does ego feel good but it’s like heroin, lulling you to sleep only to wake to find you need more. Pride will leave you skin and bones; an endless journey for your next high.

So, if nothing else, know there is someone else that fears too. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. You’re strong as hell! Keep pressing on-